Eulogy's

Bob's Eulogy for Kathie:

Kathie was “the best thing that ever happened to me”. I told her this many times over our 39-1/2 years of married life together. I always toasted Kathie with these words on our anniversary.

She was a friend, lover, advisor, artist, designer, dedicated wife, mother and playful grandmother.

She was a strong believer that the gift of life was priceless and defended that gift from its earliest stage to the latest. Those who knew her knew that she was a “strong willed woman” and she often showed it in support of others:

-An advocate extradonaire for the Right to Life

-A help to pregnant mothers who needed it – no matter race, creed or economic status

-no matter the time of day or night

-A support to those babies after birth through Matrix Life Line

-A loving godmother to a Down’s Syndrome child of friends

-A helping hand that arranged assistance for the aged widow or widower through St Lawrence friends and neighbors group.

-A house designer who used her skills to assist Habitat for Humanity

-One of the leaders of funeral lunch groups who served the grieving of St Lawrence parish

-A friend who “adopted” a widow and helped with many issues until her death

-A person who was concerned with others needs much more than her own

Kathie was “the best thing that ever happened to me” and to many others

She was a dedicated mother who would stay up all night with our children to finish a project and “do it right”. Many times, I didn’t witness this personally as I traveled on business. However, I have heard numerous additional examples from my children in the past few weeks as we gathered around to share Kathie’s last days. She could never say no to one of their pleas for help – even into college.

She was “the best thing that ever happened to me”

Kathie supported me throughout my life and career. When we had a 1-1/2 year old son and she was near a birth date for our 1^st daughter, I asked her if she would like to move to Europe shortly after the birth. She said “why not”. So five weeks after the birth of our daughter, we left for France and she spent a year doing pantomime with French pediatricians and “fractured” the French language at every turn.

She was “the best thing that ever happened to me”

She loved to travel and gathered new friends on a daily basis. She maintained those friendships over years and many moves to different places. I often said that she couldn’t walk 50 ft without meeting a new “best friend”. She had friends of a few weeks and of 54 years duration. She was fearless in trying new things, whether it was a drive to friends a state away during a snow storm or a trip to Italy by herself for the wedding of the son of a close friend, when I couldn’t join her.

She was a very intelligent person who loved a good game of chess or bridge and enjoyed doing Suduko as “relaxation”. She enjoyed challenges to the mind. She went back to school between children and studied so she could be a house designer.

She designed and managed the building of our retirement home in NC. On one day, a member of the construction crew said that there was nothing scarier than a woman with a tape measure who knew what she was talking about. She finished the house despite the fact that she was undergoing chemotherapy for the last 8 months of the project. She did this despite the need to travel often to Houston for treatment follow ups and 10 hour drives from Lafayette to NC.

She was the “best thing that ever happened to me”.

In her last days, we discussed how she would be leaving behind as a testimony to the value of her life: 4 children each full of integrity and love for their fellow man, who are passing these lessons on to their children. You could see her lessons acted out in the last few weeks of her life, as her children cared tenderly for her in her time of need. No better legacy than these children, could there be from a life of helping others. She was a woman who lived her life well and fully and who loved every moment of it to the end.

She was the “best thing that ever happened to me”

On a more personal note, being without Kathie will be like being without oxygen for me. We have known each other since we were sixteen years old. I was a “child groom” when at 20 years of age, I married the “older woman”-she was 21. In the most recent years, after the children had all left our home, we spent much more time together as she was able to travel with me at times. While I worked, she helped whatever local economy we were at thrive – especially the shoe stores.

We had looked forward to many more years together seeing the grandchildren grow and enjoying this experience that she so loved in the house that she designed. That is not to be for her. In a way, we were lucky in that we had 10 months from the shock of her diagnosis until she died, to say all the things to each other that we all sometimes forget to say during the rush of our daily lives. As I said to Father Dan, I know she is in heaven praying for us because if she isn’t there, then there is no hope for the rest of us. God bless and keep you in his bosom Kathie. I always have and always will love you.

You were “the best thing that ever happened to me”

The Kids Eulogy for Kathie: (**Eddie changed some of this before reading it, but this is the gist.)

Kathie entered motherhood in 1972 and life would never be the same.

Eddie seemed such a pleasant baby so docile and tame.

Kathie and Bob thought this was easy and wanted another bundle of joy.

Bob crossed his fingers and hoped for another boy.

1974 brought Lynette who needed assurance

To continue with their big family, they now had deterrence.

Kathie was ready to show the world that she had guts.

But taking 2 babies to France may have just been nuts.

But Kathie proved all nay-sayers wrong.

She showed she had the will of the strong.

After a few more years of “organized” chaos under her belt,

Every time she saw a newborn, her heart began to melt.

By that time, it didn’t take too much insistin

And pretty soon after, along came Christen.

Though they had set their limit at 3,

God had other plans that they would soon see.

Lauren proved to be a delightful surprise,

And now their family was to six in size.

Now with four kids, Kathie did what it took to be a good mom,

Whether it meant driving carpool in slippers or making dresses for prom.

Although Mary Kathleen Bryant was the name given at birth

She responded to many other names while here on this earth:

Mom, madre, and mama looch all rung a bell,

Where they originated no one could tell.

Kathie held too many roles to name in her life,

Be it doctor, cook, therapist, nurse or wife.

We remember the mom who got us all through school:

Was actually doing our projects against the rule?

Who could forget those ridiculously bad, yet well placed puns?

You know those that made you laugh and cringe, those were the ones!

She would look at you with a twinkle in her eye that grabbed your attention,

Then she would tell you, “I have the greatest idea, a new invention.”

Sure, most of them had already been created,

But she would still get so excited, so elated.

Her love of popcorn was more than famous,

And her outfits sometimes a little outrageous.

Ballet, soccer, speech, and basketball,

She frequently attended or coached them all.

Sewing, editing, painting, and drawing too

It seemed that there was nothing this woman couldn’t do

Mom always adopted all of our friends,

And sped along the process in making amends.

She was so loving, helpful, caring and fun.

All the good she started is not yet close to done.

In us she planted a seed of compassion,

Leaving four of us to continue her action.

To say she was supportive is greatly understated

There were so many people for which she advocated.

Though our time with her was abbreviated,

Our memories of her will never be faded.

You will be missed, mom. We love you.

Posted by Lauren

A beautiful service

We'd just like to say thank you to all of those who attended the visitation and/or funeral and to those who were there in spirit. It was a beautiful tribute to Kathie to have so many friends and members of the families there.

We chose readers and such when we were in Indiana, so we weren't able to put together that program... We'd like to thank Kathie's sisters, Eileen and Carole who did the first and second readings respectively and Bob's sister, Janet, who read the petitions. One of Kathie's speech team members, Lisa, acted as the cantor. Brian and Annie were the other two singers for the recessional song, Blessing. All three were in choir with Lauren at CC, and Brian also did speech with Kathie. The gifts were brought up by Kathie's best friend (since she was 10), Cathy and her husband, Danny.

The priest, Fr. Lehnerd, that married Bob and Kathie assisted with the Mass, but Fr. Dan Gartland was the primary officiant.

The eulogy written by Bob was read by his older brother, Richard, and the one written for all the kids was read by Eddie. Those will be posted when we can get the changes typed in.

After the funeral Mass, there was a beautiful luncheon put on by some wonderful women at St. Lawrence. Thank you for all those that attended.

Bob and the kids have received so much support from all of you - through prayers, cards, phone calls, beautiful flower arrangements, and attendance at the visitation and the funeral - thank you for all of it.

On Saturday, there will be a burial service for Kathie in North Carolina at Forest Hills Memorial Park. There will be visitation from 10-11 and a graveside service at 11 AM.

Posted by Lauren

Luncheon

Just wanted to let everyone know that there will be a luncheon at the church following the noon funeral on Wednesday.


We hope everyone who is traveling has a safe trip!

Posted by Lauren

Back home in Indiana

We can’t thank all of you enough for joining us on this difficult journey. We have felt blessed to have you share Kathie’s life with us.

Preparations were made to travel across the country, back to Indiana to follow Kathie’s wishes to have the funeral in Lafayette. Of course, she was worried about all of us – figuring that Bob and her children would have the greatest amount of support there – and that it was more accessible for her friends that would like to say their goodbyes.

Please do not feel obligated to come for us – we realize it is a great expense to travel across the country on a moment’s notice. Lauren had to use some serious persuasion to get from Indiana back to North Carolina Saturday morning, feeling that she would prefer to be with her family. Lynette also fought for a reasonable ticket exchange to just fly directly into Indiana rather than going to NC first.

Kathie’s passing was, as Bob mentioned, peaceful. Eddie was sitting with her, when he noticed a slight breathing change. Less than a half hour later, she took her last breath. Bob and Eddie were in the room when she passed. We are all so grateful that she has found her place with God, no longer in pain and struggling to catch her breath. Though it felt like a privilege to care for the woman who cared so long for all of us, it was a relief that she was not really suffering for a long time. Kathie always worried that she would someday lose some of her mental capacities, as her mother had. We know that she would not have liked to carry on in the state she was in for a long time.

Our hospice nurse, Tammy, was already scheduled to come that day. Tammy showed up less than 10 minutes after Eddie and Bob said goodbye. She confirmed what they already knew. Again, the family was grateful they had decided to participate in Hospice. Due to Hospice rules, Tammy took care of all of the medications that were in the home before she left – not leaving the family to figure out how to dispose of it – keeping Hospice out of liability and keeping us out of danger of having to figure out how to legally dispose of them. The funeral home was called to get her.

We’re hoping Kathie doesn’t pull an April Fool’s joke, and that she shows up for her viewing on Tuesday. Bob, Eddie, Christen and Lauren left NC for Indiana on Monday and a friend of Eddie’s will keep house while they are gone (it’s a tough job to look over the lake for a few days!). Lynette and the girls are flew into Indy and stayed with Melissa’s family until the rest of the family arrived Monday evening. Tuesday evening there will be a viewing and then possibly a margarita toast ;)

The days leading up to the family drive were spent laughing over old memories and stories of Kathie and time spent together as a family. Though tears have and will be shed, and will be at times during the months and years ahead – it has been better to reminisce of all the good times we’ve had together.

Posted by Lauren

A Toast to Kathie

If you would like to share a memory or story about Kathie please fill out the form posted on the link (or from the e-mail some of you received):

http://ilocker.bsu.edu/users/laducharme/World_SHARED/

You can download it from that site and then fill it out and e-mail it to Lauren at skyredlarch@gmail.com or Eddie at edducharme@nc.rr.com

We'll print them and put them into a book for viewing at the wake.

If you know someone who doesn't read the blog, but would probably like to contribute to this, please download it and send it, print it or send them the link.

Obituary

This is what will be published in the Lafayette paper on Monday:

M Kathleen (Bryant) DuCharme, 60

M Kathleen (Bryant) DuCharme, 60, of Lexington, North Carolina, died at 2:50 pm, March 28, 2008 in her residence surrounded by the love of her close friends and family.

Born May 11, 1947 in Youngstown,Ohio. She graduated from Cardinal Mooney High School in 1965 before attending St Elizabeth’s School of Nursing in Youngstown, Ohio.

She married Robert Thomas DuCharme on August 3, 1968 in Youngstown, OH and he survives.

After moving to Ann Arbor, Michigan, she worked as bank teller and assistant manager there and later in Plymouth, Michigan. In 1973, she moved to South Bend,Indiana. In 1974 and 1975, she lived in Paris, France before moving back to South Bend, Indiana. She was active in Christ the King Catholic Church and school for many years. In 1990, she moved to Lenexa, Kansas. She was active in St. Thomas Aquinas High School and Holy Trinity Catholic church. In 1998, she moved to Lafayette, Indiana, where she remained until moving to North Carolina in February, 2008. In Lafayette, she was active in the St. Lawrence Church community as well as Central Catholic high school.

Kathie was also active in many volunteer organizations including Right to Life, Matrix Life Line Pregnancy Center, Habitat for Humanity, St. Lawrence Church “Friends and Neighbors” and “Funeral luncheon” groups, Central Catholic Speech team, Central Catholic drama presentations and Central Catholic fundraisers. She was a member of St Lawrence Catholic Church in Lafayette for 10 years.

Through her personal relationships, Kathie touched the lives of many people in many cities, both in the US and around the world. She made friends and worked for those needing help wherever she lived, especially those whose dignity of life needed defense. She continued many of these friendships throughout her lifetime. She was an avid artist, house designer and bridge player. Most of all, Kathie was a loving and dedicated wife, mother and grandmother. She will be missed by all who knew her.

Surviving with her husband are a son, Edmund DuCharme (wife Melissa, son Alec, and daughter, Emily) of Apex, North Carolina and three daughters, Lynette Hazuka (Twin daughters Sophie and Kaitlyn) of Overland Park, Kansas, Christen DuCharme of Poipu, Hawaii (Island of Kauai) and Lauren DuCharme who attends Ball State University in

Muncie, Indiana, all of whom she truly loved; her sisters Carole Zurvitz (Husband:Tim and son Joey and daughter Melissa) of Youngstown, Ohio and Eileen Zornjak (Husband Ray and sons Raymond and Peter) of Poland, Ohio; her brother, William Bryant (Wife: Maureen, son John Leo and daughters Sarah and Rebecca) of Forest,Virginia.

Memorials gifts can be given to Right to Life of Tippecanoe County or to Matrix Life Line Pregnancy Center, or to American Cancer Society, or to Hospice of Forsyth Medical Center, NC

Friends and family may honor Kathie at Hippensteel Funeral Home, 822 North 9th Street, Lafayette, Indiana. Visitation will be 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. on Tuesday, April 1, 2008 at the funeral home. A Rosary Service is also planned for Tuesday evening at 7:45 p.m. The funeral mass will be 12:00 p.m. on Wednesday, April 2, 2008 at St. Lawrence Catholic Church, Lafayette, Indiana, with a two hour viewing prior to the mass, from 10:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. We are honored to have Father Dan Gartland, a long time friend of Kathie’s, presiding.

Burial will be at Forest Hill Memorial Park in Lexington, North Carolina. Father Albert Gondek of Our Lady of the Rosary Church will preside at a graveside service on Saturday, April 5, 2008 at 11:00 a.m., with visitation from 10:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. at the cemetery. Hippensteel funeral home is entrusted with care.

Posted by Lauren

Best thing that has ever happened to me!

Hello friends and family.

This a blog from Bob. I know that in itself is a miracle, but Eddie is the one who got this set up and we all know "the blogger" is Lauren.

I wanted to write this brief blog today as today is the day that I lost the "best thing that ever happened to me" . These are the words I said to her many times in the past (and always on our anniversary) and many times these last few weeks that we had together.

Kathie has now passed on to a much better place. Her spirit ascended to heaven at approximately 2:50 PM today as she took her last breath. It was a very peaceful passing, and we know that she is with God feeling immense joy and happiness.

Thanks to all those who supported, aided and helped her in these last months of her life. We are forever grateful to all of you. I am especially grateful to my children who were with her almost constantly these last few week and made her last days fulfilling and as easy on her as possible.

We will send out funeral arrangements when we have them finalized. The funeral mass will be in Lafayette at St Lawrence Church.

Bob